Wow. This poor house. It is a clean, lovely, perfectly-staged house with one problem: creepy captions under its MLS pictures.
Come on in. I’ve been waiting for you. We have a lot to talk about.
Wait, what? You’ve been waiting for me? Have you been watching me? Did you see me scarf down that entire gallon of cookie dough ice cream while watching the Real Housewives of New Jersey last night? Because if that’s what you want to talk about, I think we’re done here.
Ohhh I can’t show you everything you must come out to see what all I have to offer.
Are you threatening me? Because I feel like you’re threatening me. And I definitely feel violated. So you know what I’m going to do? I’m going to take my little mouse here, click the hell off this page and go back to the house with the five-foot butterflies on the wall. Ok then? Bye bye.
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