Hello, my name is Idiotista and welcome to my home. Let me show you around.
Welcome to the kitchen. Isn’t it spectacular? There’s lots of counter space and once you pull out the half-trashed dishwasher, you’ll have plenty of room for a canasta table.
Let’s move on to the playroom. As you can see, white walls are the perfect backdrop for elective electroshock therapy sessions. The weathered table is not only shabby chic, but doubles as a restraint chair for naughty wee ones who need a bit of discipline.
But wait, before you decide, why don’t you check out the back yard? It’s a blank canvas just waiting for the right artist to come along and make it a masterpiece.
You can make this house a home. Don’t wait! This one won’t last long.