Monthly Archives: December 2010

Olympic folding

I spent 3 years and 14 days at the Gap learning how to fold shit, Marta thought, her wild eyes darting across the piles of laundry. I will not be denied my time to shine. (Oklahoma City) Advertisements

Posted in Someone needs a maid, Stuff best left unseen | 1 Comment

The Showers of Cell Block D

Harvey made sure he never dropped the soap. (Peoria, Illinois)

Posted in Bewildering, Bold, Stuff best left unseen | Leave a comment

Simplicity

Maureen decided that the best way to save the environment was to shun cleaning products. (New Orleans)

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Thank you for almost being a friend

“While I’m sure this is fine for those skeeves in Tallahassee, this doesn’t quite meet Miami standards,” Blanche said, turning to the cans of teale, seafoam and fuschia paint she always kept on hand. “But I think we can make … Continue reading

Posted in Bold, Paint problems | Leave a comment

Honeymoon suite

Chrissy and Phil soberly realized that their web search for the perfect honeymoon getaway had fallen a bit short. (California)

Posted in Disgusting | 3 Comments

Rodeo rampage

“Damn it, Blaze, stop fucking around!” Mandy shrieked, instantly ruing the day she’d agreed to work for these elitist, wanna-be bastards for $8 an hour. “We’re supposed to be illustrating the exclusive urban retreat lifestyle, not showing people how you’re about to kick … Continue reading

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Ode to Houston

Houston, why do you suck so bad? Your MLS pics make me sad. Not for me, I don’t live there But for you, you fools, who just don’t care. (Houston)

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Bombs away

Devastated that she’d never be able to grill in her little pink kitchen, Joshunda set off a garbage bomb in the living room and ran for it. (Houston)

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Fatten-Me Elmo

No one — not God, not bad cable, and certainly not a Realtor — came between Elmo and his Happy Meal. (Houston)

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Old school fool

Looking at this literally makes me sick. (Central Texas)

Posted in Time Warp | 1 Comment